This one keeps coming up, and it makes sense. I can't decide if it's reassuring or not. Significant changes are happening for me and my family. Plans that have been in the making for years are finally being put into action. It's nerve-racking and exciting.

I expect the next year or two to be challenging, but not in a bad way. I guess we'll see how it goes.

-Tom Blueleaf

I'll get the usual stuff out of the way first:

• Partner is doing well. Her illness finally has a name and a treatment plan that is working. It's super rare and debilitating. Interestingly enough, drugs and surgery are not the solution. Stretching, meditation, and listening to her body, all under the guidance of a skilled physical therapist. She's not 100%, but she's getting there. It's been great to see.

• I'm doing well, but it's been tough, like trudging through an emotional swamp. I've taken steps to reduce my stress and work with the time and the space that I have, and it's working. Not much else to report there. I'm in good physical health. Still not getting near as much time to dedicate to my practice as I would like; in fact, I've been neglecting my spiritual life somewhat. I'm working on that too.

In the spiritual realm, one of my grandfathers has been dropping by pretty regularly. I keep smelling his garage, which had a unique smell about it that sticks in my mind, even after 30 years. He had a gift for improvisation when it came to problem-solving, and I think he's been trying to help me with something I've been trying to come up with a solution to for a year or so. We'll sort it out together, I'm sure.

A while back, I wrote about a rune I pulled and what that meant about something my partner and I were getting ready to put into motion. A few weeks ago, we finally pulled the trigger on that. It's an enormous change, and it will take a few months to implement and then probably a few years to adjust to. We both believe it'll be worth it in the long run. It's also going to change our practice quite a bit, but that part will be fun and interesting.

I think that about covers it for now. I'll try to get back to posting more frequently.

-Tom Blueleaf

However, my partner's health issues are finally getting dealt with. All of the tests and doctors, and meds that worked and meds that failed, and all of the therapy and meditation and ceremonies and everything else is finally yielding results. A treatment has been established and is working. She's feeling better physically and emotionally.

It's a slow process, but the light is getting closer.

-Tom Blueleaf

As with just about every other US citizen, I've had an extremely difficult 2026. Almost exclusively due to political dumb-shittery.

I keep getting more and more put on my plate, finding myself suddenly responsible for the welfare of full-grown adult family members who aren't able to maintain or manage their own lives due to low wages, high rent, high health care expenses, and in a few cases a total lack of access to health care.

These people are now living with me. What used to be a spacious house is now packed to the gills with people.

The stress is high. I'm having trouble managing my frustration level because, again, these are full-grown adults that I shouldn't have to pester to take care of themselves. I am not a health care professional, or a social worker, and I'm definitely not a people person.

It's impacting every part of my life. I'm having to completely change how I maintain my practice because I no longer have the space, free time or the freedom to do so the way I used to.

Positive energy is appreciated.

-Tom Blueleaf

With all the things I thought I might post about, this one was never on the list. It's come up often enough now that I felt like I should drop a little something here.

There is the assumption that I look like some sort of smiley, new age hippy covered in tattoos, wearing renaissance fair-esque earth tones, and with a giant unruly beard.

Um... no.

Aside from wearing lots of rings, and usually at least one thing hanging around my neck, over or under my shirt, I don't look anything like that. I also don't wear much black or make-up of any kind, or anything even remotely goth-ish. Odds are that you wouldn't take a second look at me if we passed each other in a grocery store.

Not much else to post about lately.

-Tom Blueleaf

I did this a few weeks ago. The person that hosts everything for me (someone I trust implicitly, who respects my anonymity) did a bit of reorganizing, and I've moved this blog to their new hosting service.

-Tom Blueleaf

It can be tough to come by, especially if your living space is crowded with extended family, and the town you live in has a high number of homeless people and inadequate programs to help them, so every natural space in town is occupied by random, pop-up homeless communities.

I have a very tiny space in my house, which used to be a utility closet. I dry walled it, and dropped a rug on the floor, and it's now my office. It's about five feet wide by ten feet long. So pretty small.

I have a small altar set up opposite from where my desk sits. There isn't much room for spell work there, and I can't burn anything that creates much smoke because everyone in the house will smell it.

This has been the arrangement for a couple of years now, since we had some family move in because the cost of living is so high that they couldn't afford to live on their own anymore. Most of the time I just deal with it, and try to not let it bother me, but sometimes having so many people in my house irritates me to no end. The messes, the noise, the glutenous food that normally is banned from the house because my partner has celiac disease, and a host of other things.

I hate it. It's the way things are right now though, and could be for a long time to come. Bless the new Trump America.

I want to be able to burn sage, and some incenses, but I can only do it when three of the five occupants of the house are gone, which isn't very often. So I thought I could make a portable altar in a messenger bag and find a few hidden spots in some parks near where I work, that I could go to during my lunch hour. I've done a lot of searching, and that just isn't possible. There are four large parks within easy walking distance, and all of them are occupied by homeless camps.

This is incredibly frustrating.

I guess I'm just venting here.

-Tom Blueleaf

Today I pulled the scythe from my bag of runes.

You see this rune associated with the Grim Reaper and other figures of death, quite a bit. In my experience, it's always been about endings, loss, pain, and cutting ties.

In a word, it's about change. Not the small kind either, the life changing kind. This is a time to take care of your physical and emotional health, because there is probably a lot of stress and anxiety right now, and you need to pay attention to self-care.

What it means for me

I know exactly what this rune is referring to. Unfortunately, it's not something I'm willing to share here just yet. It's in the works, and probably anywhere from six months to a year out. It is a major change though, and myself and my partner have started taking the actual steps. Attorneys have been contacted, a company that specializes in what we're doing is putting together a quote for us, and a lot more.

We've been doing serious homework on this for three years, but thinking about it for a very, very long time. So not something that's being done lightly. It'll mean some super difficult adjustments, but we both agree that it'll be worth it, and we're excited about it.

I'm already on the self-care train, or trying anyway. I feel pretty good about how that's going.

-Tom Blueleaf

My partner and I went on a tropical vacation and had an amazing time. I'm feeling rejuvenated, and trying very hard to focus on my own health and well-being. Our home situation is... hectic, with a lot of family now living with us because they can't make it on their own anymore, for a variety of reasons. I've spent most of the last year trying to change things about our home environment and schedule, and failing. It became clear to me a few weeks ago that I need to focus on the things I can control, namely my own health and state of mind.

I'm starting with making sure I'm taking adequate vitamins for my age, and eating better. Cutting out sweets again is proving to be difficult. I'm also trying to get out and walk more. My own health problems last year prevented me from doing much of anything in the way of exercise, so I have a lot of catch-up to do. I'm also paying more attention to my appearance and skin care. My thinking here is if I can physically feel better, and feel better about myself, it will help me deal better with the stresses of home.

I was in for my yearly physical last week, and while the doctor and I both agreed that I need to lose about twenty pounds, I'm in very good health. I go in to pee in a cup and get blood drawn for labs in a few days, and we'll see what those have to say.

My mornings for the last couple of weeks have consisted of a few minutes of meditation as soon as I'm upright on the side of the bed, with my feet on the floor. Our oldest dog is always very interested in what I'm doing, and sits through it with me. Then I get up and brush my teeth, start coffee, take my meds and vitamins and take partner her coffee and pills.

Then I walk a dog. I can't walk both of them since they're big dogs, so I'm alternating each day. It's only a fifteen-minute walk, but that's good enough. I don't have time for more, unless I want to get up obscenely early.

Then the partner and I get into the shower, where we are both now using a variety of natural cleansers and body washes, we shave all the bits, and then dry off and moisturize. She's incorporated some candles and a small, black Hecate statue in the bathroom, so that morning routine has turned into more of an actual ritual.

We're both doing a similar thing before bed, with a facial cleanse and moisturize. Our sex life has taken a pretty big hit in the last year due to her health issues, which are finally getting sorted out, although very slowly. So we're making an effort to have some sort of sexual connection each night, and that's been more fun than either of us expected. Our practice has been incorporated into that in a small way, so as not to be too distracting. We make a habit of keeping a few of our every day carry items close at hand during sex, to give them a bit of an extra kick and attunement. Every so often, she collects my semen for use in her spell work, and while it does distract from the moment, she makes it fun.

I've been dabbling in divination using runes, rather than tarot cards. I do love both of my tarot decks, but something about casting runes feels so much more natural to me. It's also been fun learning something new.

Her summer solstice celebration is coming up fast, and we still have some preparations to make. It's an all women group making a four-day event of it. We'll drive up together, pick up one of her friends at an airport on the way, and then once we get them settled into their camp, head a few miles up stream where I'll camp with the dogs, but otherwise alone. I'm planning on a few solitary ceremonies myself, and looking forward to it.

That about does it for this update.

I hope everybody is doing well.

-Tom Blueleaf

I do have several Celtic knot and pentacle necklaces, and a variety of rings with pentagrams, various moon symbols, crows, Celtic knots, and symbols of Lilith and Cernunnos. The Celtic knot necklaces I often wear outside my clothing, since most people simply see them as decorative. The other necklaces are always under my shirts. At any given time, I'm wearing one to four rings. The Celtic rings are also easy to get away with, and the other rings are discreet enough that someone would have to get a pretty good look and know what they're looking at, to see and understand what's on them. Still, I had an incident with one of the moon rings a few months ago.

Before I got it sized, it slipped off of my finger one day at work. I noticed it was missing, and I retraced my steps as best I could remember, but wasn't able to find it. Later that day a friend, whose office is across the hall from mine, mentioned that one of the maintenance guys had found a ring just outside the elevator door. I went to his office and he was gone, but the ring was sitting on his desk. I snatched it and left, knowing he'd probably had a pretty good look at it. Black, with a few crescent moons.

Fast-forward to about two weeks ago. I'm covering the phone desk for a bit, and that maintenance guy walks by and notices that I'm wearing several rings on my right hand. I wasn't wearing that particular ring that day, but most of them are black, and he probably couldn't see them very well.

He asks me “What's the deal with the rings?”

“Nothing in particular, I just like them.” I lied.

“So no real significance, huh?” He asked.

“Nope.”

He stared at my hand for a minute, and then continued on to wherever he was going. I'm sure that my friend told him I'd lost my ring, so he connected the dots and knew I was the one that grabbed it off of his desk. I could tell that he was somewhere between suspicious and outright concerned, but I'm his boss, and discussing religion at all is generally frowned upon around here so it's unlikely that he'll ever prod for any more details.

He's an older guy, in his late 60s, a biker, and definitely a product of the 60s counter-culture, which he never really left behind. I'm 100% certain that he has some inkling of that ring's symbolism, and is now not sure what to make of me. I do have feathers and a few small soothing stones sitting on my desk, and I wonder if he's started to catch on at all.

I'm not terribly concerned about it, but I do find it amusing.

Side note: There is a girl working at the book store, who I'm fairly certain is either Wiccan or a practitioner of some other flavor of witchcraft. She's asked a few tentative, probing questions, which I've never answered in any detail at all. I keep things to a simple yes or no. I'm sure she knows, but clearly understands and respects my position, and isn't pushing it.

I may try to engage her in more conversation at some point. I don't know.

-Tom Blueleaf